Guilt

Charles’ words were like a bucket of cold water. More like a tub of cold water. Nikki went from feeling blissfully connected to her body, deeply absorbed in her sexuality, warm and lost to the feelings, to being solidly and completely in the moment, cold and sober, in milliseconds. It was painful, and scary. Charles’ anger was intense.

Nikki felt Mike’s cock soften and slip out of her. The two of them were apart, struggling to stand, stammering.

“Urm. Sir. Um. Oh. Uh.” Mike was trying to get words out. The blush he had had earlier was nothing compared to the deep red color infusing his skin now.

“Who the hell are you? How did you get in here?” Charles was coming at Mike like a ton of bricks. Mike was actually cowering in front of the older, smaller man.

“Umm. Hotel security, Sir.” Mike didn’t know what to do. He would ordinarily show ID, but he was standing naked in front of this customer, this very important customer, this customer who had rented out an expensive suite for his sex-slave, his cock still semi-erect, having been caught in the act, fucking said sex-slave.

“What’s your name boy?” Charles practically spit the words out at Mike.

“Mike Townly, Sir.” Mike held out his hand awkwardly. Realized the absurdity of it and let his hand drop down next to his side again.

“Don’t move. Not one muscle. Not either of you.” Charles glanced over at Nikki for the first time now, and Nikki was terrified by the anger and hostility she saw in his eyes. He was beyond mad.

Charles strode over to the desk and picked up the phone. He dialed the front desk. “Connect me to Tony in Security, now.” His voice was commanding. Controlled. Still angry but now channeling that anger. He obviously had a plan, knew what he was doing.

“Tony? Come up here right now. I’ve got a Mike Townly standing naked in my living room.” Charles was matter of fact.

He listened for a moment. “Yes….” Tony was obviously asking questions. “Un huh…. Un huh…. No, I don’t know.” Charles started to look a little impatient.

“I don’t want to stand here all day on the phone with you. Get up here, and bring an escort with you, I think Mr. Townly will be leaving the building for good.”

Charles hung up the phone.

Nikki felt incredibly ashamed. She didn’t want Mike to get in trouble. It wasn’t his fault. She had wanted it. Begged him for it. It wasn’t fair.

“Sir?” Nikki tried to speak softly and supplicatingly. She really hoped Charles would listen to her, have mercy on poor Mike.

“You!” Charles turned to her, practically roaring. “You keep your mouth shut. Stand there, watch. But keep your mouth shut.”

Nikki hung her head in shame. There was nothing she could do. This was going to play out the way it was going to play out. And she didn’t have any say in it.

It seemed like no time at all before there was a knock at the door and Charles was letting in a man who had to be Tony. He was in his 50s, looked like a retired cop; big, beefy, strong, but you could see the shadow of what he must have been before. He had obviously put on a little weight and wasn’t quite as fit as he had been when he was on the force.

“Sir. I am so sorry. This has never happened before. Never. And I will insure that it never happens again.” Tony’s tone was obsequious. He was clearly extremely embarrassed that his staff had turned out to be so inadequate. “I know how important your slaves are to you. And Mike is one of my best men. I really wouldn’t have…”

“Enough.” Charles held out his hand, like a cop stopping traffic. “I don’t want to hear any excuses or any explanations.”

Charles turned to Mike. “Do you have any idea, young man, of what you’ve done?” The phrase “young man” was dripping with condescension. Mike might be younger, more beautiful. But Charles was going to show him who was the bigger man.

Mike hung his head and just absorbed the words of the older man. “This is my property and not yours to use. Do you have any idea of the value of what you have just helped yourself to? I could get thousands of dollars for what you just took. You are a thief. Untrustworthy and unworthy of your job.”

He addressed himself directly to Tony. “The evidence is incontrovertible. I walked in on them in flagrante delicto. This is unacceptable. I want this man dismissed immediately and escorted from the hotel. If it weren’t for your other guests I would say he should be escorted nude, but I’ll allow you to make that determination. For now, I just want him out of here. Immediately. And I expect to never see him on this property again.”

“Yes, Sir. Absolutely, Sir.” Tony was clearly taking the ‘customer-is-always-right’ approach and not even trying to make an excuse.

Mike looked like he’d been punched in the stomach. Or worse. Like he’d been sentenced to death. He probably would never get a job in security again. And any chance of making the police force, well, Tony would ensure that never happened. Nikki glanced over at him, trying to express how sorry she was with her eyes.

“Now out of here, both of you. I have other things to deal with.” Charles looked meaningfully over at Nikki.

Tony moved over to Mike, and to Nikki’s amazement, escorted him from the room without stopping to get his clothes from the bathroom. Was he really going to be escorted naked from the property? He must have his civilian clothes in a locker somewhere on site.

Nikki caught her mind wandering to Mike’s sartorial issues and realized that she had much more serious things to think of. What was Charles going to say to her? What was he going to do to her? What was going to happen?

Charles picked the phone back up. He was behind her now, but she could hear him dialing.

“Hello. Charles Tilton here…. Yes, she’s with me….. Everything is fine, but there has been a little incident with hotel security….. No, nothing like that, she didn’t make a break for it…. You should come down here, I can give you the full details.”

Finally Charles turned to her. “Mark is on his way. But you and I are going to have a chat before he gets here.”

“That was your fault, I know it was.” Charles was still angry. But his anger was controlled. It was almost scarier this way.

“You are a temptress. You seduced him.” Charles held up Nikki’s chin and looked her right in the eye. “Just like you seduced your teacher when you were an adolescent. You made him do that, too, didn’t you?”

Nikki felt like she had been slapped. Yes. Of course. He was right.

“It is your fault. Playing the innocent little girl, but having these urges, being wanton, uncontrollable. That’s you. It is you. You wanted it.”

Nikki felt the tears come to her eyes. Yes. He was right. She did want it.

“You knew it was wrong, but you still wanted it, and you went right ahead and you took it. You made that teacher want to touch you. You made him desire you. And you liked it. You made him risk everything, for you.”

Nikki was sobbing now. Yes. He was right. She was bad. It was her. It was her fault. She liked it, she wanted it. She asked for it. She was the one who was bad, wrong, evil. It was her fault.

“You knew I wanted you waiting for me. You knew I didn’t want you to satisfy yourself while I was gone, I wanted to find you hungry, ready, waiting for me. But yet you went ahead and gratified yourself.”

Charles tightened his grip on her chin.

“Am I right, girl? Answer me!”

“Yes, Sir. Yes, I knew you wanted me to wait.”

“Good.”

Nikki was sobbing uncontrollably now, tears running down, snot running from her nose. She was hiccoughing, trying to catch her breath.

Charles slapped her across the face. “Get yourself together. Breathe. We’ve got a lot more to discuss.”

Nikki struggled to get her breath back, the pain in her face helping center her. But feeling his words like knives in her heart. He was right. She had known that what she was doing was wrong, but she had done it anyway.

“But, Sir, you didn’t tell me I couldn’t.” Nikki sniveled some more. “You didn’t forbid it.”

“Are you giving me excuses? Trying to tell me you were innocent? When you know in your heart that you were wrong?”

“Sir, I dddd…” Nikki could hardly get the words out she was sobbing so hard. “I dddiiddn’t know I was wrong…”

Charles slapped her again. “Come on girl. Be honest with yourself. Did you really think it was right to kiss your teacher? Did you really think that it was okay to have the security guard unhook your cuffs?”

Nikki looked into herself. Part of her still wanted to stand up and say “it’s not fair! It wasn’t my fault! How could I resist?” But a bigger part knew he was right. That she was a responsible person. She hadn’t been forced in either case. She wasn’t taken violently, or even coerced. She had been the initiator. She had wanted it.

Charles held her chin up. “Answer me, girl! Did you know it was wrong?”

Nikki felt like something inside her snapped. The piece of her she was trying to defend. The piece that said she was okay. That she wasn’t bad to the core. Wasn’t evil, wasn’t black, wasn’t rotten. She wasn’t okay. She was terrible. She was nothing. She was a spineless, rotten, worthless, incapable, pleasure seeking, immoral, nothing. Worthless.

She couldn’t breathe. He was making her face it. Face the fact that she was that bad. Ohhh!

Her sobs intensified.

“Oh, Sir.” Nikki swallowed. Tried to get her breath together. Tried to inhale.

“You feel it, don’t you. You know it. Deep inside you. You know it.”

“Yes, Sir. Yes.” She was gasping now.

“Focus on that feeling. Feel it.”

Nikki felt it all right. Felt it expanding inside her. Like a rotten mass, growing, running black and stinky through her veins. Her guilt. It had always been there, but now it was roaming free. Charles was right. It had been her fault. She could barely hold herself up. She felt like she was ready to collapse. A molten pool of rotten, bad, weak, flesh.

“I can see you feeling it. Good.” Charles took a deep breath. “It feels bad, that guilt. Very bad.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“And you deserve to feel it, don’t you?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good. Acknowledge it. Feel it. Let it flow through you.”

Charles lifted her chin. “And now I need you to let go of it.”

Nikki’s eyes widened. What did he mean? Let go of it? It was at her core. As much a part of her as her heart, her lungs, her kidneys. She couldn’t let go of it.

“Listen to me, girl. And listen hard.” Charles stared into her eyes. “You are a sex slave. And I am a Master. I am going to help you let go of that guilt. I am going to absolve you.”

Nikki was confused. Absolution? What an idea. As if! How could she be absolved? This guilt was so strong, so fundamental, so elemental.

“You accepted responsibility. You took it on. You felt the wrongness of your behavior. And that was good. You were rewarded for that responsibility. You also took on the guilt. But all of that is based on a very important assumption– that you are capable of that responsibility.”

Nikki nodded, as best she could with his hand still under her chin.
Charles continued. “You were a child. A child. You were not responsible for that teacher’s behavior. He was a predator. It didn’t matter what you did, he should never have accepted your advances. It was his fault. Do you hear me? It was HIM.”

Nikki couldn’t believe her ears. Charles had just melted her last resistance, and now he was telling her that it wasn’t her?

“Breathe deep and take that into your heart. You were a child. You may have felt mature, but you were not. Let go of the guilt.”

“And now… this Mike. He was being paid to protect you. There is no excuse for his behavior no matter how tempting you were. No matter how much you wanted it. Of course you wanted it. I left you in a state of white hot heat. You are a sex-slave, you are trained to want it. And he is trained to be professional and resist it. Thinking that you had tempted him is like excusing a valet parking attendant who takes the Lamborghini out for a joy ride by saying that the car asked for it. Absurd.”

Nikki tried to absorb what Charles was saying. Tried to take it into her heart. Tried to let go of the guilt.

“You aren’t going to believe me just from me telling you. That’s not how this works. I know. I need you to feel it. To feel my absolution washing over you. To feel me forgive you for all of your weaknesses, and to feel me take responsibility for you.”

Charles continued. “You are a sex-slave now. You may be tested and challenged. You may fail some of those tests. But you are not bad for those failures. You are what you are. And we, your Masters, we love you for it.”

Nikki nodded.

“But now, you need to feel your slavery more. You need to make a penance, and feel my forgiveness, no?”

Nikki loved the idea. Yes. Anything. She would do anything, submit to anything. She wanted to endure for him, prove to him, show him. Demonstrate.

“Yes, Sir, anything, Sir.” Nikki was surprised that her voice was calm and strong again. She was breathing. Snot was drying on her face, there were tracks through her make-up where her tears had run down, but she was definitely feeling better.

“I am going to give you the opportunity to beg for 10 lashes with my belt. Each lash will bring you closer to absolution. Do you want these lashes? Do you want to feel my belt slamming down on your naked buttocks, marking you as a slave, taking away your responsibility?”

“Oh, yes, Sir, yes, please.” Nikki couldn’t believe she was asking for a beating. She’d been beaten a couple of times during training to help her maintain her focus and to give her perspective on obedience, but this idea…. The idea of the beating bringing her closer to her slave status and absolving her of responsibility. She loved it. Wanted it.

“Please let me have your mark. Sir. Please.” Nikki was ready to start begging now.

“I will, my dear. I will. You deserve it.” Charles stroked her hair back from her face. “I will make you really work for it, but you will get it.”

Nikki smiled, hopeful.

“Let’s wait for Mark to get here. Come, kneel in front of me, put your head on my lap. He’ll be here soon.”

Nikki felt her collar as Charles led her by the leash over to the easy chair. She felt her slavery. And she felt optimistic about her future. She felt she could, finally, let go of the guilt as Charles had requested. And she felt light hearted, if a bit fearful about the lashes.